


when I wake up I poison myself

by MiniNephthys



Category: 1bitHeart (Video Game)
Genre: Bad Ending, Gen, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-08
Updated: 2015-09-08
Packaged: 2018-04-19 18:28:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4756589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiniNephthys/pseuds/MiniNephthys
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mikado said what he did in the bad ending for a reason: he's considered it himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	when I wake up I poison myself

**Author's Note:**

> Wow I could not come up with a summary that was not spoilerific.

The first time Mikado lays eyes on Nanashi, he thinks, ‘I could just kill him, right now.’

He could do it. He could strangle Nanashi until he stopped breathing. If he wanted to be more subtle, he could wait until Nanashi went to bed and smother him with a pillow. He could poison his food. He could do all kinds of things.

It is a wild thought, and he doesn’t act on it. For one thing, that would definitely erase him in the future if he killed his past self. He has plans, and other matters he has to attend to first. So he can’t kill Nanashi, at least not now.

That doesn’t prevent him from thinking about it now and again. It’s only natural. After all, there’s no one he hates as much as himself. And people think about killing those they hate without ever acting on those thoughts. Mikado’s lost track of the number of times he’s been shopping and read the minds of the retail workers plotting exactly how they’d kill the customers if they weren’t forced to smile politely at them instead.

A funny thing happens as he spends more time with Nanashi, though. He spends less time thinking about killing him and more time with him as a regular cousin. He’d always pretended to be a normal cousin, of course, but now when they talk or play video games together, Mikado doesn’t have to plaster on his smile. It’s really there.

How strange. He can’t explain it, except that maybe he thinks of Nanashi less and less as ‘himself’ and more and more as ‘Nanashi, his cousin’. If he’s a seperate person, Mikado has less of a reason to hurt him.

...That said, he’s the older cousin, so he has to torment and tease him just a little bit. That’s what older siblings and cousins do, right? He’s an only child, so he isn’t quite sure, but that’s what he’s heard.

Eventually he stops thinking about killing Nanashi at all. He’ll be a victim of Mikado’s plan, probably, but that’s different. That’s not like wrapping his hands around Nanashi’s neck and squeezing.

It’s only called back to his memory when he’s revealed himself to Nanashi and Nanashi does just that to him that, oh, yes. That’s what he wanted to do to Nanashi when they first met, but he had a reason not to. Nanashi hates himself just as much as he does, and he has no such reason not to kill him.

They are the same person, after all.

As his consciousness fades, he can’t help but smile. It’s funny, so how can he not smile at the irony of it all? He’d laugh if it wasn’t too difficult while being strangled.

Some might say he should have killed Nanashi when he had the chance, but really, it would have ended in his erasure anyway, just the same.

If he did that, maybe it would only be to preserve what innocence Nanashi had left.


End file.
